Moo & Me is a love letter to Muriel Zelezny (“Moo”), a woman I’ve always known as a senior citizen and entrepreneur — and my guiding light not only during happy times but during the times when depression engulfed me like the tidal waves I saw in my nightmares.
Moo has steadied, reassured, and comforted me. I trust her 100% – even when she hands out tough advice I don’t want to hear – and I know we’ve helped one other become more loving and compassionate people.
At 98, Moo is a very senior citizen and she’s young at heart. She’s an entrepreneur and she’s an adventurer.
The Match Game
I met Muriel at a Small Business Administration (SBA) meeting in New York City in 1997. The event matched successful businesswomen and fledgling women entrepreneurs as mentors and protégés. I had recently started a home-based PR company and desperately needed bookkeeping advice. The event was the perfect opportunity to find someone who could guide me.
Standing quietly on the perimeter of the group, I watched mentors and protégés mingle, exchange credentials and business cards, and try hard to impress one another.
After settling into our chairs, each mentor introduced herself. After one woman spoke, I was convinced that this intense, “take charge” accountant would best help me organize my new business’s finances. I made a plan to introduce myself.
Then another mentor spoke: she was petite, self-effacing and, I could tell even then, a bit peppery. Her name was Muriel, a franchise owner from Queens, New York. There was something about her that touched me, but my brain said, “Not impressive enough.”
The Sad Sparrow
I spoke first with the accountant, Joanne from Long Island. Young in the business world, I was soon intimidated by her strong opinions and intense self-confidence, although it was clear she knew her stuff. Joanne’s eye contact penetrated my brain like a sharp needle pinning a dead butterfly to paper. As I listened, I felt like the proverbial balloon expelling air; I am too easily deflated.
As I looked around the room, it seemed as if everyone except me was a winner in the SBA’s version of The Match Game. Lots of chatting, smiling, and laughing.
A sad little sparrow, I watched from afar as the blue jays, cardinals, and woodpeckers jockeyed for position at the bird feeder. The world had communicated itself to me, using Joanne as its spokesperson: “You can’t keep up. Go home.”
Senior Citizen and Entrepreneur
But something made me try again and so I approached Muriel. I remember her huge blue eyes, a voice that mixed sawdust with honey, and her forthright manner. I noticed she walked with a significant limp, which I later learned was caused by polio in her early childhood. I also realized she was quite a bit older than me. At that time, I was 47 and she was 73. A senior citizen and entrepreneur!
As we spoke, however, I knew Muriel could help me without scaring me — and a match made in heaven was born. Muriel helped me manage my PR business and, when I decided to write a book about menopause, she became my co-adventurer. We traveled to Montana to interview women of the Blackfeet Nation; Gulfport, FL., to interview gay women; and Los Angeles to interview African-American and Thai women.
Our adventures were glorious and hilarious. Moo is a daredevil driver, especially on the empty roads of the west. She opened her heart to the stories the women told us and cheerfully sampled buffalo burgers and exotic Thai food. While my book never made it to print, our experiences in trying to bring it to life cemented our friendship forever.
She Is My Hero
As I got to know Moo, she opened up about polio’s impact on her self-esteem and dreams for romance and love. As she grew older, Moo went from independent walking to using a walker and then a scooter. Undaunted, she purchased a huge van outfitted with a lift and ramp, which she drives to New York City, New Jersey, and anywhere else she wants to go.
With all of her challenges, Moo continues to live life to the absolute max. Prior to the pandemic, she regularly attended New York theater and threw herself elaborate birthday parties. My husband and I and 100 of her closest friends attended Moo’s 90th birthday party and then her 95th. She and I celebrate the landmarks of our friendship (five years, 10 years, 20 and more), exchanging cards and gifts.
What would I have done without my Moo as I navigated the world of business, changed careers, and married for the first time at 66? Are we an odd couple? Who’s to say? What I do know is that Moo is my advisor, big sister, and friend, with a bit of “mother” thrown in. I love her and I know she loves me.
Moo is my hero.
Lucky you finding Moo
She’s lucky too
Everyone needs a Moo
I have one too
(But not quite so old)
You are quite the talented poet.
What a lovely story! Happy early birthday Moo!
I will pass along your good wishes to the youngest 97-year-old in the world!
How beautiful!!! Is it I you are talking about, as she looked behind her and found no one. I love you too but you express it far better. Hugs and kisses.
Yes, it is YOU I am talking about!