Today we introduce a new member of the F-Puss and P-Boo category. Also a pussycat, this furry fellow happens to be imaginary. But imaginary at the level of genius. T.S. Eliot’s genius. {Warning: this cat does not set a good example for others. He is a puss with bad cat behavior. Quite bad. Bad, bad pussy.} But let’s let the Peekabooster and the Fluffmeister introduce you.
Peekaboo: “Hello, humans. Today we welcome a new feline to our family. His name is —“
Fluffypuss: “What? What just happened? Did mommy and daddy get another kid? Meeeoooowwww!!!”
P-Boo: “No, no, F-Puss. He’s a pretend cat who lives inside words. You know, that mish mosh of annoying sound that pours relentlessly from human kissers like a tsunami of hot air? Like this: blah blah blee blabbed blub blub, smushy, whoosh, whoosh, kissy, kissy–”
F-Puss: “Enough already. What are words?”
P-Boo: “Never mind, you dim bulb. Just know that this new guy, his name is Macavity –”
F-Puss: “Well, that’s a stupid name.”
P-Boo: “And your name is Fluffypuss. Yup. Dim bulb. I rest my case.”
And now, before we offer you a special treat about a puss with bad cat behavior, here’s some info about Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 – 1965). A poet, essayist, publisher, playwright, literary critic, and editor, T.S. Eliot was a central figure in English-language Modernist poetry. Eliot first attracted widespread attention for his poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” in 1915, which, at the time of its publication, was considered outlandish. It was followed by “The Waste Land” (1922), “The Hollow Men” (1925), “Ash Wednesday” (1930), and Four Quartets (1943).[Eliot wrote seven plays, most notably Murder in the Cathedral (1935) and The Cocktail Party (1949).
T.S. Eliot received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1948.
In 1939, Eliot published a book of light verse, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. (“Old Possum” was Ezra Pound’s friendly nickname for Eliot.) In 1954, composer Alan Rawsthorne set six of the poems for speaker and orchestra in a work titled Practical Cats. After Eliot’s death, the book was the basis of the musical Cats by Andrew Lloyd Webber, first produced in London’s West End in 1981. It opened on Broadway the following year.
Macavity: The Mystery Cat
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw—
For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air—
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there!
Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square—
But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!
He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s.
And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair-
Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there!
And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty’s gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair—
But it’s useless to investigate—Macavity’s not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
‘It must have been Macavity!’—but he’s a mile away.
You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs;
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
Copyright © 1939 by T. S. Eliot, renewed ©1967 by Esme Valerie Eliot. With permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
“Cats” the Musical: Sad Cat Behavior by Everyone
While Macavity represented a high level of bad cat behavior, the cats in Cats (the musical) were a little more, well, on the up and up. Here’s Betty Buckley as the unforgettable and unfortunate Grizabella
“Cats” the Movie: Bad Cat Behavior by Everyone
Our tribute to bad cat behavior cannot ignore bad director behavior, bad actor behavior, and just plain bad everything cinematic behavior. That’s right! We’re talkin’ about the recent Cats movie. Should you have missed it, here are some of the IMDB reviews.
My whole body hurts! I’m in soo much pain right now. So much pain. Please make the pain stop, please. Do not watch this under any circumstances. This movie is dangerous to your mental and physical health.
Terrible! It seems there’s an actual consensus for once on IMDB: everyone hates this movie and rightfully so. It’s terrible and nobody wanted it, much like the latest Star Wars. Avoid this at all costs. Or at least try some hallucinogens. But I’m pretty sure you’d have a bad trip.
It’s not a nice thing to say, but…this movie was bad enough to make me want to kick my cat (who I love very much) in the face multiple times. When I got home, I couldn’t look at her for hours.
What the? I actually got sick from watching this. Or I already had a fever. I don’t know.
The only way this could make sense is if cops play it in interrogation rooms. I mean…What was that? Is it actually a movie? There has to be a plot for it to be a movie, right? Sorry, but I wouldn’t recommend this monstrosity to any human being.
They aren’t exaggerating. I, too, was innocent once. I lived in a pure, bright world full of hope. In my naivety, I said, “surely ‘Cats’ isn’t as bad as they say.” Never have I been more wrong in my now God-forsaken life. I can only hope that whoever created this atrocious disease of a film enjoyed the copious amount of drugs they must have taken to make it happen. I would need even more than they were on to make it through the movie again without ending it all with a plastic straw.
This Movie Is an Insult To My Four Amazing Cats. I went home and apologized to my cats for the infiltration of cat garbage that I just allowed into my brain…My husband’s favorite part was when they all blew up in the end. But then he realized he’d dreamed that when he fell asleep during the movie and that was an even better ending than what we just watched.
“Am I having a stroke?” Still not sure, but I think my brain weighs less now.
WTF is this? Only watched the first 5 minutes. Then I just gave up.
“Cats” the Movie Official Trailer
Featured image of ginger cat by ivabalk from Pixabay
Thank you. Very interesting. I did not see Cats. I just read Judi Dench was cast as Grizabella is London. I can’t believe she would be able to sing it? She had an illness or something and had to drop out, and was replaced by Elaine Page who CAN sing! Thank you for the fun reading!
Thank you for the comment. I had such fun compiling the post and am delighted you had fun! Yeah, CATS!!!
I loved the show Cats. I did not see the movie. Great piece! I love McCavity.
I, too, loved Cats the musical. And so happy you loved the new post! Keep reading!
Hi Amy,
Another great piece.
I saw cats on Broadway an thought it was very good although not my particular taste.
Ur presentation is great.you have a way of staging a piece that’s awesome. Well done. i will hug my cat Louie when i get home. He’s the star of our family.
Hugs to u as well.
Norm
Hugs all around! And especially to our CATS!!! When they’ll permit it, of course. Thanks for the positive feedback. It’s very helpful!
Great review of all things “Cats.” Our Delsea and Annie have meowed their votes of approval…at least I think that was what they were voting for. Coincidently, there were some birds in the back yard and a lizard on the patio.😼😼
Annie and Delsea have excellent taste in blog posts and birds. Thank you for reading & commenting!
I loved the Broadway musical Cats. This was a delightful trip down memory lane.
I’ll never forget the night I saw “Cats” on Broadway. I loved, loved, loved it! Thanks for your kind comments.
I definitely will not see the movie! Loved the background about T.S. Eliot!
Meow!
The IMDB reviews of “Cats” the movie are ingenious. Cries from the devastated hearts of cat lovers everywhere!