Some high school students are close to getting a diploma, but don’t quite make it. However, these students can take a series of exams called the GED (General Educational Development test). The purpose of the GED is to determine whether the test taker has achieved a high school level of education. The following questions and answers come from a GED exam from several years ago. And, yes, it’s funny stuff!
{Advisory: answering as per the below is how to get a GED…not! {Note: These are real answers.} Important: I tried to find the source of this incredibly funny stuff so I could offer attribution. But I was unable to. If you’re out there, please get in touch in the comments section below. And thanks for the laffs!)
How To Get a GED: Be Well Informed!
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. (And if you’re flat-chested?)
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. (Did you vote in the last erection?)
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot me now.)
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar (What about sugar ‘n spice ‘n everything nice?)
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. (I’m perspiring just reading this.)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (Is this politically correct?)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A. Premature death (If death is a disease, is it curable?)
Go Into Animal Husbandry
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow (Isn’t this illegal?)
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)
Study Anatomy & Physiology!
Are you ready for more funny stuff? Hang in there, folks!
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie (How many fibulas did you tell today?)
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby (I know a lot of women who wish that’s what it meant.)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g., the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U. (This student plans to go to med school.)
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. (I can’t find it on a map!)
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.)
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (I dread the day when I become intercontinental.)
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (Couldn’t have said it better myself.)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (Brilliant)
In closing, here’s a shout-out to all our high school students working hard to get their diplomas and GEDs — and giving us the gift of funny stuff. We grownups know times have been very, very tough for children and teens.
Very funny (especially the comments in parentheses)!
So glad you found the story funny. I had a lot of fun with the comments. Thanks for reading!