I am not a domestic goddess. You all know that. But what you don’t know is that I have a recipe! For a one-dish M&Ms supper. Remember: M&Ms are comfort food! I’m gonna share my recipe with you, my adoring fans, plus the guy who cuts the grass (my Donnee), my optometrist & my psychologist.
Plus the 107 job seekers from Indeed who looked at my blog for an average 2.5 minutes prior to submitting their resumes for a social media guru gig I’d posted. And guess what? My recipe doesn’t require cooking!
Ingredients & supplies
• ⅓ of 3.10 oz. box of plain M&Ms© (slice off top of box with knife)
• Rubber band (medium size; not decaying from old age)
• Large bowl (clean)
• Spoon (also clean)
• Knife (sharp + clean)
• Cutting board (flat + clean)
• Dannon Light + Fit©, 5.3 oz. (any flavor; remember to stir)
• 1 apple, any species, sliced into small pieces (use knife)
• ¼ can ShopRite© peaches or apricots in own juice, cut into small pieces (use knife, but watch out; these suckers are slippery)
• ShopRite© raisins, 1 oz. box (don’t worry too much if they’re stale)
• ⅔ cup ShopRite Honey Nut Clusters Cereal© w/ or w/out almonds (I take out the clusters & save them for a rainy day)
• 6 whole almonds (no comment)
• ½ cup pumpkin seeds (no comment)
• ½ cup sunflower seeds (no comment)
• ¾ cup Kretschmer Wheat Germ© (tastes like sawdust, but blends well with yogurt)
• ¾ cup fat free milk (AKA white water)
• 3 tbsp. Nestle Coffee mate©, French Vanilla, fat free (quite tasty)
• 3 oz. decaf coffee with un peu de sugar (what the hell; live a little)
Mainstream operations & maneuvers
1. Pour into bowl: peaches/apricots; raisins; cereal; almonds; pumpkin seeds; sunflower seeds; wheat germ; apple.
2. Stir into bowl: yogurt; milk; creamer; decaf.
3. Pour in M&Ms. Fold down box top; secure with rubber band so remaining M&Ms don’t fall out.
4. Put spoon into mélange.
Alternative lifestyle operations & maneuvers
Hip-Hop: Dump in ingredients willy-nilly while jumpin’ around to M&M the rapper AKA Lily Singh.
Martha Stewart: Organize M&Ms by color; place each color group on top of final yogurt layer; place neutrals (wheat germ, cereal) around interior of bowl; insert almonds vertically to enhance Feng Shui aura.
YouTube Influencer: This guy is my soul mate.
Put washable items in the sink & tell your significant other to deal with them. If you live alone, wash them ASAP ‘cause left-over stuff (e.g., creamer, milk) gets hard & sticky & you’ll have to scrape it off with your fingernails.
Gender-neutral lifestyle directions
• Clear your schedule in advance.
• Tell anybody you live with to leave you alone for 90 minutes.
• If you live alone, do not tell anybody.
• Put on your PJs, nightgown or sweats with your fluffy slippers or ratty sneakers.
• Put your cat/dog on the sofa in the TV room or wherever you watch TV.
• Close the door or wall off your viewing area. This is your private time.
• Turn on your latest binge project.
• Get the mélange, but don’t let your cat/dog lick it.
• Put an ottoman under your legs & use a pillow as your lap tray.
• Take mindful bites with an itty bitty sip of Sheep Dog Peanut Butter Whiskey. Zone out.
Enjoyment enhancement tip
If your stomach gets a bitty bloaty, take a 15-minute break & walk around the block. Return to eating & viewing. You will feel incredibly happy. I promise. Because M&Ms are comfort food!
A Super Bowl special. 😜
M&M Melange can be enjoyed on national holidays, during special events such as the Super Bowl, and at birthday celebrations (just quadruple all the ingredients).
Since I’ve never cooked or even eaten the ingredients you’ve used, you lost me on the fourth sentence. However, I did read thru to the very last word. BRILLIANT!!!!!
I love the “clean” next to ingredients!!!
Once I saw a couple living in a yurt and they said their idea of clean changed when they moved into the yurt….a rinse will do!! And why not? Jeez, I never think how brainwashed we are by Palmolive!
Sugar works!
Does anyone think that sugar doesn’t work???